He + She: Marriage and Women

Friday, 3/19/2010
Pastor Lucas Forsthoff

He + She: Marriage and Women
1 Peter 3:1-6
1 Peter 3:1-6 1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
1 Peter is filled with submission. Submission to government, employees, church leaders, God, and husbands and wives.
3 views of marriage
1. Non-Christian Feminism
a. Husband and wife are married but live separate lives
b. Separate jobs
c. Separate lives
d. Separate beds eventually
e. The only thing holding them together is kids
f. Many of these marriages end in divorce
2. Christian Egalitarianism
a. Men and women are equal and there is no distinction from roles
b. They live separate lives for the most part
c. They come together because of some interests and kids
d. As the kids grow older, they grow farther apart
3. Christian Complementariansim
a. God, husband, wife, and the children follow both mom and dad
b. Husband is not the highest authority because God, government, boss, pastor, and the law have authority over him.
c. When children leave, it’s ok because they still have purpose for their marriage.
1 Peter 3:1 Wives submit to your husband. You only have to submit to one man. If you don’t trust men, it’s ok because you only have to trust one man, your husband. A wife should be able to submit to a husband who loves her as Christ loved the church.
What if you don’t come to agreement on big issues
1. Men can pray until wife comes to his decision
2. Men can appeal to a higher authority and get some counseling on the issue
3. Men can just make the decision because time is pressing and things need to get done

Most women think that submission means that your husbands are making you do something that you don’t want to do. If you have a good husband, he will start to make you do things that make your life easier. Let me give you some examples…
1. If our possessions were up to Jen, we would have nothing. We would drive a beat up nasty car, have a small free TV, live in an apartment for 10 years, eat mac n chz 4 times a week, and save all of our money so that it can sit in the bank and never spend it. Thank God she has to submit to me.
2. I make my wife spend money, buy nice things, and treat herself to some pleasures.
3. I wanted to buy a new car and spend some good money so that we can have a good reliable car. She wanted to spend less money so that it would not hit the bank account hard. But I am thinking, no way, we need a reliable car so that we can drive across this crazy state and not worry about breaking down all the time.
1 Peter 3:1-2 Speak Wordless Sermons: Your husband might get sick of you preaching at him so you need to preach wordless sermons.

1 Peter 3:3-4 Cultivate True Beauty: True beauty is not outward only…it’s inward as well. You can read the women’s magazines and learn how to look better; as a matter of fact I would recommend that for your life. But, you have to also read the word to find out how to be beautiful on the inside.

1 Peter 3:5-6a Seek Incredible Women: seek out Godly older women, read books written by women, be that woman to other women. Be like Sarah…she was imperfect and followed Abraham at times, but she was a Godly woman altogether. We’re not asking you to be perfect just a woman of God.

1 Peter 3:6b Fight Fear: don’t think your life will be miserable if you follow Jesus and your husband. There are reasons to fear because we mess up and we are scary at times.

Submission Does Not Mean:
1. A husband is in ultimate authority.
a. The church is over him
b. The law is over him, call the police
2. A wife has no independent thoughts.
3. A wife does not seek to influence her husband.
a. You are the helper
b. You are the largest influence on your husband
4. A wife does obey her husband’s commands to sin
5. A wife is less intelligent and competent than her husband

Submission Does Mean:
1. A husband and wife are equal with complimentary roles
a. Not competitive
2. Wives are to submit like Jesus as in Gethsemane
3. Husbands lead like Jesus leads the church
a. Jesus dies for the church
4. Women only marry a man she can follow
a. Respect
b. Love
c. Who is intelligent
d. Slow to anger
e. Slow to speak
f. Quick to listen
g. Loves you
5. Christian marriage shows the trinity and the Gospel
a. Let you marriage be a shining light for the world to see.