He + She: When Is the Time?
When is the Time?
Don’t think that getting married is going to make you happy. Two sinners living together does not make you happy. If any of you in here have ever had a roommate, then you know that there is going to be conflict in your home.
Get married to be Holy…because marriage reveals your sin and makes you repent every single day.
The longer you are married the happier you will be. Research says, it takes about 9 to 14 years to look at your spouse in a non selfish way. After about a decade, you begin to see your spouse as how can I care for you and take care of you.
Figure out your spouse’s love languages…figure out how your spouse wants to be loved.
• Jen is words, service and touch.
• I am service and gifts.
• These things can change over time.
v. 8-10 If you do not know, most beautiful of women, follow the tracks of the sheep and graze your young goats by the tents of the shepherds. I liken you, my darling, to a mare harnessed to one of the chariots of Pharaoh. Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels.
• She needs to be a priority.
o The schedule is full, so figure out how you two can be together.
• She needs compliments
o He calls her a horse, which I do not recommend. But He had thousands of horses and she is the one all the other horses want.
• She needs a nickname
o Jen’s nickname is babydoll
• She needs a provider
o So, men if you are going to meet a woman for the first time just open up with this line…”I have a job.”
o Solomon gave her ornaments and gold chains around her neck.
v. 11 We will make you earrings of gold, studded with silver.
• Pick friends who enhance your marriage, encourage you to love one another, support the two of you.
• Some of your friends want you to stay out all night and keep you away from your wife.
v. 12-14 While the king was at his table, my perfume spread its fragrance. My lover is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts. My lover is to me a cluster of henna blossoms from the vineyards of En Gedi.
• The man goes to work and when he comes home, he wants to come home to En Gedi.
• A man’s life is a desert, all day at work with people telling him what to do and he hates it all day long…when he comes home, he wants to come home to a place that is an oasis for him
o What does En Gedi look like for you?
o En Gedi to me is coming home and having a little bit of alone time and relaxing for just 10 minutes before I start into how the day was and everything that went on.
o Then I need some food and I am good to go for the rest of the night.
v. 15 How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.
• Tell your wife how great she is and be really specific
• Doves only have one faithful mate for their entire life and tell her that when you are with her, you feel safe because you know that you are going to be together for the rest of your life
v. 16-17 How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant (oasis). The beams of our house are cedars; our rafters are firs.
• Men, you need a home to put your women in.
• A home where you feel safe and is clean
o What do we need to change in our house?
v. 1 I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys.
• What is so special about me because the rose of Sharon is such a common flower
v. 2 Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens.
• He reminds her that he loves her
• Men need to continually remind their wives that they are great and beautiful
v. 3-6 Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love. Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love. His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.
• A women needs a protector…v. 4 ”a banner over me is love.” This is a war sign when trouble occurred at war, the banner went into the sky so that they could retreat back to safety.
o How can I please you?
v. 7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
• The question is not where the line is, the question is when is the time?